A Letter To My 14-Year Old Self

Letter to younger self

Dear 14-year old Dianne,

Ever wonder how your life turned out 10 years after? Are you thinking whether or not you landed a good job and actually have the life that makes your mom and dad proud? Are you curious about who you are with right now or what you are doing at this point, maybe?

Hey, you. I’m sneaking on writing this letter in between my work. Yes baby girl, you now have a job and you’d be happy cos it’s comfortable in my workplace. I’m wearing a hoodie cos it’s pretty cold here and you know we can’t stand cold temperature. There’s a huge window about one meter away from where I am and I can see buildings and tiny cars from here. I’m sure you’ll like it here as much as I do (well, ofcourse). I won’t be able to finish this letter while I’m here, that I’m sure.

I’m not entirely sure if it’s a weekend now there and you’re with your family or, maybe it’s a weekday and you’re attending school while you stay with your grandparents. Adjusting to that kind of living was hard knowing how dependent you were to your family. Don’t worry, it’s only difficult now but it will get better soon. They’ll spoil you with good food and you’ll love them even more, you’d be okay.

I know it’s high school and you should have as many friends as possible. But let me tell you now, you actually won’t have a lot. You wouldn’t even have close communication to any of them when you reach my age. You’ll have fun hanging out with them after school then worry after cos your grandfather might scold you for getting home past 6 PM. He’s just worried and I know you fully understand that too. Live the high school life as it should be lived. Go on, cry over your puppy love, break the rules if you may, learn more of yourself. You are one smart and responsible young lady, you’d be okay.

Then here comes your senior year. Your classmates will be busy taking entrance exams to different universities, while you are there, confused and doubtful. Do you think you’ll end up taking Education? No. How about Tourism? No. Wondering if it’s Mass Communication? No. That’s how confused you will be but, fret not, you might not love the course you’ll take, I assure you, you’ll get through it. You will cry A LOT and many days will go to school with literally NO SLEEP, but you’d be okay.

You are so passionate about your newly discovered hobby, blogging. I’m quite sure you’d be happy to know that you are still obsessed with it even after 9 long years. Yes, I should know. Blogging will play a huge part of your life and it’s not something you can leave behind just like that. It will become an avenue to a lot of opportunities, and that you will have to discover as you get your age.

Remember when you cried your heart out in a public street cos you were so down that none of your close friends invited you to their small gathering? Guess what? You’ll be more thankful they didn’t cause you’ll create closer bond with your family and soon realize that your family is more than enough.

Remember your favorite dog? He lived for 11 years but he is living in dog-heaven now. You were there crying while he fought for his life. You were there by his side, patting his forehead while telling that you’re ready to let him go and that he deserved to rest even how painful that felt like.

Remember the shy little Dianne and the Dianne who used to throw out her books cos she hated studying? PLOT TWIST, it was just a phase. You’ll be proud to come up on stage as you receive your medals soon. Good job! After all, learning is fun but going to school isn’t.

You’d be surprised of how much change and improvements 10 years can do in your life, while some things remain just the same.

After 10 years, you’ll realize that getting high grades in school isn’t important. You’ll learn that character is more valuable than intelligence. You will meet different people from different walks of life and you’ll be proud of yourself for keeping your values intact and learning how to stick with what you believe in despite being different from most of them. You’ll learn the importance of keeping calm, learning to shrug it off and keeping your mouth shut at times when needed. You’ll soon come to the age when you’ll wear your color loud and proud, without making yourself feel less beautiful because of it. You’ll discover that despite loving the homey vibes, your heart desires for fun outdoor adventures too. You’ll fall in love with stars, skies and seas. You’ll run a distance you never imagined you could, all because of that guy you met in college.

After 10 years, you are still thrifty, which isn’t a bad thing. You still feel uneasy in crowded places. You still cringe over being the center of attention, which explains why you always choose to celebrate your birthdays with your family alone. You still ask your mom and dad or whoever is with you to kill a cockroach for you and still feel sorry for the cockroach for it being a cockroach (yes, THE WORLD IS UNFAIR). You are in a long-term relationship yet, you are afraid over the thought of marriage. Not because you aren’t happy but, because you are guarded by the risk of being an addition to another broken commitment. At this point in your life, you still don’t own a house or a car. You still haven’t figured out where your life is heading to. You are still confused whether or not the career you chose is the career for you.

But this is life. Life is never supposed to be known, you have to brave the unknown. I may not be doing what I am destined to do right now but life detours will eventually come and everything will make sense.

Like you, I still have lots and lots of things to learn but one thing I’m sure, I will be okay.

24-year old Dianne

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Author: Dianne

She graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Engineering. A full time IT Specialist based in Singapore who enjoys designing, reading and blogging. She fuels her day with a cup of good coffee in the morning and concludes the night thinking about life.