To tell you frankly, this year has been filled with so many emotions that came to me at once. So many emotions, energy, and turns of unexpected events. Some months were euphoric but, most months were draining and challenging. My thoughts about all these are all over the place at this point. Not sure how I can put all of these to words but let’s see as I go along.
This year, I learned so much about the importance of allowing myself to be vulnerable. Acknowledging my feelings, listening to my intuitions, accepting hurtful facts and trusting other people. For the longest time, I saw myself as a person with a strong emotional foundation but I guess, I’m not entirely that. I accepted the fact that I don’t have the capacity to carry that much weight. I had to unload as much as I could, and by unloading I meant telling, instead of denying my own feelings to make everyone else feel comfortable. Surprisingly, openness came to me as a relief. Now, I sleep soundly and it’s one of the best things in life. After all, there’s nothing to be ashamed with saying things out loud and putting others in the second spot. It’s called self-love, babe. SELF-LOVE.
This year is when I almost lost the positive and goal-getter girl I usually am. I came to my worst state of self-doubt. I was doubting everything about myself. When I said everything, I meant EVERYTHING. Quarter-life crisis hit me real hard and it’s not something I often talk about. I’m not saying I’m over it but at least I’m sane enough to not let this thing get in my head entirely. This part of me is in the works and I’m coming back even better, by hook or by crook.
You see, this year may have been far from what I envisioned it to be. It’s a year of hurting but also a year of healing. I’m not yet there but I’m recovering with grace. I may have encountered some roadblocks and whirlwind of emotions but, I can’t deny the fact that 2018 has been a wonderful year for me at the same time! Keep scrolling!
Places
- Joined a tree planting and community immersion activity in San Felipe, Zambales.
- Stepped my feet at the peak of Mt. Ulap, got my photo taken at Nagpatong Rock Formation, and breathe in air from the tip of Mt. Masungki.
- Toured around Pangasinan and snapped so many photos from there.
- Drove a Jetski for the first time at Pico de Loro Beach and Country Club
- Went up north for a road trip in Vigan, Ilocos Norte and Ilocos Sur with college friends.
- Explored Taipei, Taiwan under a Php 10,000 budget.
- Ate durian and jumped off from a cliff in Davao City and Samal Island, respectively.
- Brought home fresh strawberries from the City of Pines, Baguio.
- Stayed up late ’til 6:00 AM to talk about life on a last-minute surfing trip in La Union.
- Had a quality 12-hr sleep in a cabana at Real Coast and Surf in Real, Quezon.
Self
- Enrolled to basic and survival swimming classes.
- Brought home two finisher’s medals from 7-Eleven Run 2018 and Asics Relay 2018.
- Transferred to a new gym place at Pound for Pound and I can say, I legit kept an active lifestyle throughout the year. It’s really something I’m proud of.
- Got my 3rd, 4th, and 5th ear piercing.
- Reorganized my room and decluttered as much as I could. Fixing my room feels like fixing my life. I’m on my way.
- Designed wedding invitation for my sister’s wedding.
- Put Carousell to good use and started selling random stuff.
- Watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. It gave me a good hard laugh during tough days, very effective. I regret watching it late, just this year.
- hmmm. Nothing fancy. I’m single for 10 months now. So much time for myself.
Thank You
- Ella – you’re a heaven-sent if that’s an understatement. Thanks for making my rough days bearable by just being there. Thanks for constantly checking if I’m okay and for hearing me out even before I speak. A friend like you feels like a family outside of a home. I hope you know you’re worthy of so much happiness and I only want you that.
- Family – blessed sounds cliche, but I sure am blessed to have such loving and supportive family. We may be miles and miles apart, but we’re solid rock.
- Him – I thank God for everything. I thank Him for letting me experience both pain and happiness. I know my life is in the works. And I’m trusting His ways, always.
That’s it! Did I miss anything? Thanks for reading up to this far! You’ve just read the most dramatic post I ever have written to date! haha. I have so much hope for the coming year! I say it’s going to be a year of self-love and goal-getting. I’m all for a positive 2019 and hoping no amount of negativity slip in the way. Until then, ciao!
